Who can identify this MP?

Who is Igembe North MP?
Updated on: Saturday, July, 2, 2011 Story by: JOSH MEMENTO

I have nothing personal against my MP. But Mheshimiwa, the people who voted for you have a bone to pick with you. My mother voted for you in the last election, but you have not managed to solve her water problem and therefore she is burning to send you home. My uncle voted for you so that you help his bright poor children complete college with the bursary money. But you have never been seen since the day you won the elections. My aunt says you refused to turn up to her fund raising ceremony for her children studying abroad. But now your woes are compounding. My grandmother turns in her grave and mourns you failed to grace her burial. My son is complaining that you failed his invitation to his wedding. Mheshimiwa who do you walk with?

Am not a sadist though to rejoice over other peoples miseries. But Kenya Revenue Authority has threatened to auction even your house in Laare if you do not pay up the taxes. This time can't avoid through trickery. Sh 2million and thereafter your pay for the remaining twelve months will be slashed by one-third. With a dropping bald head, you must now be rubbing your sideburns really hard, and thumping your feet in search of a solution. If a question came up, who is the MP for Igembe North? Few know him. And those who know him cannot pronounce his name.

House Speaker Kenneth Marende addressing people at Laare Town summed it up “your MP may have a difficult name to pronounce, but he does not give me trouble in Parliament.” Trouble? He is not a rabble-rouser like Dr. Bonny, Ababu, Martha, and many more. Indeed our MP is 'disciplined'. And consequently he has successfully removed Igembe North from the political map. Mheshimiwa, haaai, gugutuka nteere na gati kuri na muhu! You do not contribute to debates, you do not ask questions (but you asked one why camels from Borana community are eating Miraa plantations), that was all. When people are asked which constituency they come from, many say they come from the constituency of Mithika Linturi when in the real sense they come your constituency. It is because Mithika Linturi is active and known and his name is easier to pronounce. Ntoitha who?Mmmmithiaru, is he/she a member of Parliament? How does he/she look like? A man or a woman?

Well, I struggle hard to find you dozing off at a corner in Parliament that you have made your hideout. Mheshimiwa your problems are many. Being a who speaks in a slight stammer and husky voice you could really bore the August House ifyou sought a chance to speak.You cannot be compared to shrill-voiced Mps like Bifwoli, Duale, eye-popping others like Martha or stone throwers like Waititu and dramatist-cum-comedian like Sonko. You are such a nice Mp.

You are never in Parliament and when you are, you make technical appearance and sleeps through that short stint. You're never seen at home, when you go to Igembe North, you go at night and sends emissaries to find out whether your constituents have gone home to asleep. These poor constituents must really be a bother to you. You then sneaks into bars drinking to the wee hours of the morning. You do not attend funerals or weddings or any social gathering. But you religiously send apologies through your boat-lickers and coattails hangers. Igembe North for the last 4 years has received over Sh 200m into CDF kitty. Is there anything that you show for this colossal amount of money from the exchequer?

Let me take a scorecard. Maili-Tatu-Laare-Mutuati Road is in deplorable state with craters on the roads. Vehicles no longer use the road which is shorter route to Mutuati. Commuters must now take the longer more expensive road through Antobetwe. What a shame! Where is Local Authority Transfer Fund? Where is the Road maintenance money? Secondly, one of the major problems of the people of Igembe North is water, water, water, and water. Remember addressing people when your seeking their votes 'cia antu betu, mpeni kura nkabutheteere' (my fellow constituents vote for me so that I can go to Parliament to articulate your issues). Mheshimiwa, is sleeping part of articulating our issues?

Third, the land question. All people in Igembe North do not have title deeds. Thanks to the local land committee politics. Mheshimwa, your people now cannot use their parcels of land as security to acquire loan in the banks to educate their children. The Bursary Fund which is meant for the needy bright children from poor families has become a preserve of your supporters. And plundered all the money with abandon. Sorry, mheshimwa, you have performed poorly and therefore cannot proceed into another term. Indeed the five years you have been in Parliament are wasted dark years and unaccounted for by people of Igembe North.

People are itching to send you and your ilk home. But what a send-off? There is old saying 'never be drunk and disorderly during your mother's funeral.' Kenya Revenue Authority has helped Kenyans in bringing some of these useless 'honorables' to their knees. They are going home broke? Pole! M'mmmmmithiaru Igembe voters cannot wait to put you where you belong: political dustbin. I looked for your photo with no success. Even the Internet does not have any information about you. Looking at your Facebook page it is blank. This gives me a sneak preview of what I expect the young generation to do to likes of your character. Mheshimiwa, you do not have a single friend? You even have no information? The only notable information on your page is, you defeated Maoka Maore. But now it is time for your actions to bail you out. Good luck Mheshimiwa, Ntoitha M'Mithiaru

Email: joshmemento@yahoo.com